Dec 16, 2009

Query Rough Draft...Whatchya think?

Please let me know what you guys think of my query rough draft. I seriously appreciate everybody's input. Thanks!


Dear ________,


Seventeen-year-old Evie Dawson has confronted enough shoplifters, talked down enough suicide attempters, studied with enough cheaters, and outsmarted enough backstabbers. Yet, amazingly, Fate manages to toss another problem her way--a teacher’s death.


Everyone says it’s a heart attack.


She’s convinced it’s murder.


Evie has no choice but to play detective. Unfortunately, Far’s Fall has one too many guilty suspects, forcing her to confront the school’s secretive cheerleaders, sketchy principal, sexy new teacher, and even her own friends. All for the sake of...life?


For Evie Dawson, its a far fall into the unknown. And with each secret uncovered, comes something not so black and white...


Never Kill a Boy on the Fifth Date, at approximately 65,000 words, is a Young Adult Mystery.

6 comments:

K.M. said...

I like it! Sounds like something I'd like to beta. Let me know when you finish another WIP :)

Too Cute to be Very Interesting said...

I like it, but I think something is missing...why does Evie have no choice but to play detective? Is she accused? What's at stake for her?

Ash. Elizabeth said...

K.M., I'll be sure to let you know : )

Too Cute to be Very Interesting, now that you've pointed it out I couldn't agree more. I definitely felt like something was missing. But, not in the first paragraph because I love my first paragraph. hehe.

Book Junkie said...

Totally Lovin it! And the title, Never Kill a Boy on the Fifth Date! That is a keeper!

Good Luck!!
Brande

Ash. Elizabeth said...

Thanks Brande!

Ash. Elizabeth said...

I guess I feel like the last two paragraphs don't flow as nicely as I'd like them to...I'll have to work on it and then post an updated query.