Jan 2, 2010

No Kissing!

You know that moment when you get all excited because two characters are about to kiss? Their breath gets heavier, their stomachs are in knots, they’re dizzy with excitement. And then nothing. Maybe something like the picture below happens...



It’s called the “No kiss” or “Almost Kiss.” And, its got the reader smacking their heads against the book in disappointment. If done right, the reader is begging for them to kiss one another when the moment arrives. Frankie at Frankie Writes has deemed today the official No-Kiss Blogfest. The rules are you can blog about your WIP, one you just wrote for the Blogfest, one from a book, movie clip, or t.v. show.I’ve decided to partake in it and post a scene from a current WIP that’s only 18,000 words.


“Give up the mission,” Booth said quietly.

“No, I’m getting it done.”

“I don’t think anyone can do it. It’s too dangerous. For Christ’s sake, he killed your parents.” He paused, and I knew he was thinking about his own parents. Like mine, they’d died. “He’s killed a lot of people, Sadie.”

Once again, the fear of being sickeningly inadequate for this job reared its head. But somehow Booth thinking that, too, was enough to make me go forward. “We have six days. This could still work,” I croaked.

“I hope so. For all for our sake’s.” He shook his head, looking out the car window at the darkness. “You should go back inside,” he surprised me by saying. The words themselves barely reached me, it was the impact of them that hummed through the air.

“Don’t you want details about last night?” I cracked a window, suddenly needing to breathe.

His eyes flicked to me after a few moments of silence. “No. Just be careful tonight.” The look in his eyes, like I’d disappointed him somehow, reminded me of how I’d wronged everyone I cared about. It reminded me of what I had to do to make everything right again.

“There’s a lot at stake,” he went on. Booth always seemed so inflexible, so humorless. Tonight was no different. “We need that information in order to--”

“I don’t need a repeat of last night’s beware speech. You’re not my dad.”

He gave me a slight smile. The first I’d seen in weeks. Then, in a move so fast I didn’t see, Booth was across the seat, holding me against him, hard. I gasped in surprise as his mouth slanted down--Oh god, he was going to kiss me. Every nerve ending tingled in anticipation, and I was about to close my eyes, to meet his lips with the same hunger and urgency I saw in his eyes, when his chin jerked upward.

He kissed my forehead, barely breathing the words, “You're right. I’m not your dad.”

At a loss for words, I stumbled out of the car. I was shaking up the porch steps, and my arms felt empty because he wasn't in them.


37 comments:

Emma Michaels said...

Okay... ya... I read that and now I am sitting here wondering if they did get to kiss... grrr... *bangs head against desk*

The romantic query letter and the happy-ever-after said...

I love the way you build the tension between them it make me want to read more. Oh and Ash thank you for your input with my novelette "Strange" I'm really grateful.
Every happiness to you in 2010,
Simone.

Donna Gambale said...

I like the suddenness of this one!

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Super kamikaze move on his part. I love how he says, "you're right, I'm not your dad" and then her arms are empty because he's not in them. Good job!

sherrinda said...

Awesome!!! "I'm not your dad.." Loved it when he pulls her close, then kisses her forehead! Nicely done!

Elle Strauss said...

And a good thing at that, that he's not her dad!
Nice tension. Makes me wonder what she did the night before and why he didn't want to know.

btw, thanks for visiting my blog.

Alissa said...

Great scene! Loved the letdown of the dad-like forehead kiss alongside the "I'm not your dad" line.

VR Barkowski said...

Wonderful push/pull tension - she hates him. Wait! No she doesn't. Then he kisses her forehead? Ack! Not fair!

Melissa said...

Nice job! Love how he started to kiss her then kissed her forehead instead. I could feel her disappointment.

Bethany Mattingly said...

I loved this! I really like how quickly it all came and the voice in your excerpt! Thanks for sharing, I'd definitely read more. Thanks for visiting my blog!

Sqrt(D) said...

Now I find myself wondering about the rest of the story.

Myra said...

Leave us hangin' next time! Oh ... wait ... ;)

V. S said...

Some serious tension! I wanted to read more!

Valerie said...

Ooh, this was great. I love how she got all excited that he was going to kiss her and then he went for the forehead! I'm very curious to read more!

Nickles said...

"I'm not your dad." Oh yeah! Well, then he should man up and not kiss her on the forehead! Great scene. In case you can't tell, I got into it.

Jade said...

Ha! I loved when he said, "You're right. I'm not your dad."

The poor thing. Here she is anticipating a knee-weakening kiss and she gets a peck on her forehead!

Karen said...

Love "I'm not your dad"! Good sense of longing.

Lizzy Mason said...

Love this scene! I especially loved the bait and switch of the forehead kiss. Great job!

Sharon Gerlach said...

Nicely done--the anticipation, arousal, and disappointment...so been there. ;-)

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

Glad he's not her dad, because I'd love to see these two get it on. Great scene!

storyqueen said...

Ash-

This is a very cool scene--lots of tension, and denied longing...sigh.

I'd read more.

Well done.

shelley

Kat O'Keeffe said...

Love the suddenness of this one, and the fact that he's teasing her. Nice excerpt!

Vicky said...

Very awesome! I already like your characters. I'm interested to know what's going on.

LittoMiss isuet said...

What a tease ! I wish they would have kissed...

more pleaseeee? (:

great scene,
btw thanks for visiting blog !

Kate said...

The continuing success of crime and mystery romances is a perfect genre for you right now! I love the last line....it's all too realistic!

Roni @ FictionGroupie said...

Great excerpt. I have a scene in my YA with a forehead kiss too. Aren't those the worst kind of "you're just a friend" kisses? :)

Amalia T. said...

Your last line is great. It really packs a punch of charged emotion. Nice scene! Thanks for sharing this! and Happy No-Kiss day!

Kristin Jr. said...

Hot damn. :D

Just Another Sarah said...

Oooh, very nice! Makes me want to watch Bones, actually, because his name is Booth...

Thanks for your comment, by the way--except because of my own stupidity, I linked myself to my kissing day blog, so if you'd like to read the non-kiss (which still has a kiss in it), you'll have to come back and check it out.

Frankie Diane Mallis said...

aaaah "Im not your dad" awesome line. Loved it!!!! Thanks so much for participating in the No Kiss Blogfest and making it such a success!!!! :-)

Yvonne said...

I

Love

This.

I like both of your characters, the hidden story, and the innuendo, deep and interesting. And, yes, I would keep reading.

Great entry!!

Yvonne said...

I meant to tell you that I like your blog and have always loved that quote by Toni Morrison.

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Oh wow! The tension builds and builds, and then...what?! A kiss on the forehead. Leaves me dying to turn the page. Well done.

Cleverly Inked said...

Everyones comments were cracking me up

Hayley said...

The tension build up was great, nice job! I'm so intrigued.

VR Barkowski said...

Ash, A tiny warning—just tagged you on my blog: http://vrbarkowski.blogspot.com/. Eight questions about writing. Have fun! ;-)

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